Saturday, May 22, 2010

The breakdown begins :(

So im having a bath and getting out of the tub at 22 weeks when I fall. It hurts. Alot. Upon examination im told I have sprained my left shoulder and my right knee.. Great im a gibble and have no help for Teigan who needs me to take care of her ~ Save for my Mom who has always taken on a very loving hands on approach to being a grandparent. My Mom was my only constant support while I was pregnant with Sevanna. Mike was too wrapped up in supporting our family working horrendously long days and the older kids were deciding to keep me busy with the normal school & friend issues that all preteens nowadays have... I am allowed only codeine and it does nothing to help.

At 25 weeks 4days we go to have a discussion with my OB ~ Dr Mahalingham whom I absolutely adored and she says to me, Ricki to our knowledge a child as severly compromised as yours is rarely has a great survivial rate and we feel if you continue on compassionate care is the most viable option. I ask what compassionate care is and when I find out its standing by to watch your baby just die I am NOT impressed, she further insults me by telling me I also have the option for a late term abortion but only 48 hrs in which to decide.. I look at her and she apologigizes immediately saying she knew I'd never consider it but I have to be told all of my options. I start to really wonder what if anything is Gods plan for my baby. They tell me if I have her and she survives the first week then she has the option of going through a 3 tiered surgery to improve her heart function as much as possible. They also tell me with all of her conditions her life expectancy is only 30 years old and she will never have a "normal" life. Then they tell me about the option of a transplant and say they "prefer" me to choose the surgeries as they want to be able to examine Sevanna's unque anatomy. Its almost like she is a science experiment to them and I want to say Would you all be this gung ho if this were YOUR child?

Im 26 weeks and at Chapters, I am trying to pick a fitting first name for baby girl knowing her middle name will be Faith Loree (Loree is my Moms middle name and all my children have paternal & maternal grandparents as part of their name) I read a baby name book in which the defination of Savannah doesn't say "a wide open plain" as most baby name books do.. Rather this defination says Savannah means "Open heart" I believe then and there her name was cemented in my heart. Later that week I fall again and sprain my right ankle and break several toes. I am in agony. Still battling in court, still stressed out I am now having problems with headaches. Doctors tell me they are not due to my diabetes and unfortunately theres nothing I or they can do.

27 weeks I head to Edmonton to be examined by the pediatric cardiology team there which included my doctors as well as Dr's Smallhorn & Dr West. I get my first glimpse of Ronald McDonald House and make some long lasting friendships. I also meet Dr Mahalinghams replacement for me in Edmonton, Dr Johnathan Tenkle. I take am immediate disliking to him when his opening statement to me is " Anything Ainsley can do, I can do better" who says that to someone they have just met when I have known and implicitly trusted my OB for over 2 years?

28 weeks I am having troubles eating, I encountered this with Teigan too and got to the point where I needed liquid IV therapy and it SUCKS :(

30 weeks for all her troubles Sevanna is looking good as can be

33 weeks I fall yet again and this time I slip the 3rd disk in my back, I can barely walk and the doctors here decide to make the transfer to Edmonton happen immediately as in im going to Edmonton TOMMOROW. I cant believe it, in just 24 hrs I have to say goodbye to my 15 month old and all my other family and be stuck in Edmonton for the long haul. Luckily we get booked in to RMH again and there are about 5 other Moms expecting in the house with me. My due date is December 3rd. When I get to Edmonton to book my OB appointment it is early October, they tell me can I come in on December 9th? I say sure if you dont mind that that is 6 days PAST my due date. They give me a new date 2 weeks later and im basically a prisoner in my room at RMH waiting to be seen by Dr. Tenkle. I get to the appointment which took 4 hours in total to be told at the very end when I am asking when I'll come back to being told Oh you dont get to go back to RMH we are admitting you to hospital right now, theres actually an underground pedway that connects us to the Royal Alex and they are expecting you....

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