Saturday, May 22, 2010

What happens next??

So here I am on my 29th birthday wondering what I did wrong to deserve news like this.. The most information the specialist could give me was that the babys ventricles werent developing properly, she appeared to have a large hole in the ventricle they could see and various other complications that they couldnt yet determine. My Mom asked me what I intended to do. I told her that I would see it through no matter what and that I hoped my faith would carry this baby to life, what kind of life would she have I didnt know but I felt that she deserved a chance. I knew right then and there that part of her name would either be "Faith" or "Hope" because I needed both to move forwards in dealing with this pregnancy as well as other issues I had on my plate.

Many of my friends had their kids young and I was always jealous of that. All my life ever since I was a tween all I ever wanted to be was a Mom ...Runner up to that would've been a Doctor, Teacher or Singer... LOL When I lost my son in 2003 due to my own neglect I couldnt have been more shattered inside. My belief in 'God' was lost and I was angry and depressed for a long long time. When I was able to pick myself back up I reasoned with him that should I be given another chance I would parent the child to the BEST of my abilty no questions asked, no matter what circumstances were thrown at me. Well he sure tested with Sevanna... Anything that could go wrong DID and then some...

I started going to the childrens hospital to meet with Dr David Patton a world renown inutero diagnostic specialist, from there I met Dr Frank Dickie & Dr Joyce Harder - Calgary's top pediatric cardiologists who have given my daughter amazing care for all her time spent in hospital.. Many more Doctors from Edmonton were to follow and I give so many thanks to Dr Jennifer Rutledge, Dr James Coe and most importantly Dr David Ross who is the surgeon who has saved Sevanna's life and ensured that she is still here with me today.

Because I was lucky enough to know what I was facing, I was lucky enough to know what I could and couldnt do... One major thing was I could not take any painkillers, they would have stopped Sevanna's heart immediately. So what do you figure may have happened? You guessed it ... my body decided to start breaking down.

On top of my body breaking down I was going through a very stressfull trying time with my new husband and his step children and their Biological Mom who after a 8 yr absence all of a sudden decided to be a part of their life just because she found that that Mike, Courtney & Brandon were happy and moving on.. We went through almost 3 years of court battles and im happy to say that that particular stress is finally behind me, mind you many many things have changed since Sevanna was born...

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